Shangumugam Bridge

There is a long bridge near Shangumugam beach and the best part of it is that you are allowed to drive your bike till the tip of bridge.We used to visit that place quite very often, some of our nice friendships developed there. Sitting on the rock there and watching the vast expanse of the sea spreading before us and below us with waves lashing at the pillars of the bridge was an awesome experience.The last time when I went there, there was a strong feeling of nostalgia, the silhouette of the bike pulled me to the past, the stories I thought about sitting on the bridge, the poems I wrote looking at the ocean, the fun we friends had when the bike got stuck in the sand, and the reality that I might never ever visit that place again. Some part of me never boarded the bus to Bangalore that Sunday evening .The bridge and its raw beauty , the sea and its ferocious waves , the serenity of the church behind it , the playful kids with their volleys below , the fisherman and their nets , the memories of times spent with friends there .It was strange that how I never got to see a single sunset despite being there almost every other week , finally when I got the will to get my bike back , it was time for the bridge to show me it’s one last bout of affection , the wheel got stuck in a gap between the slabs of concrete ,I could feel my friends standing with me , walking with me and pulling the bike out for me and saying how they wish they could be there with me for one more time.

Angel

In the evening over my balcony
flew an angel spreading bright light

I saw , I was speaking to her
she answered with a little smile

I could hear her voice in me
calling for a new begining

I felt like a feather
floating over in a gentle breeze

she was so beautiful at heart
took away my sorrow with words

suddenly I could see her face
It was you my friend it was you

My Way of saying thank you to all those who stood by my antics for past 10 months

A Thought from Past

Found it in my archives folder , thought I could well post it here

Days I was with you
I never realized what that touch meant

Now I crave for one moment
I pray for that one moment of proximity

Days I was with you
I never realized what you were

Now I know that you are the one
Can't wait for a day , can't wait fora night

Days I was with you
Never realized how warm would that hug have been

Now I want the warmth but
I know that , that one hug is far from me

Days I was with you
Never realized that glint in your eye

But now as I dream about you
Can't wait for a day , can't wait for a night
to see that glow in your eye

Days I was with you
I never realized what it was between us

Now that love has hit me
Can't wait for a day , can't wait fora night

Opinions that made me halt and think

I remember certain events precisely in my life and the words spoken by my friends, my relatives and even the conversations I overheard in trains, buses. This is an attempt to acknowledge the effect they have had on me, some of them hurt while some brought about an uninhibited laughter

One of my friends said to me “ When there are lot of things going bad in your life , take them each separately and never ever try to relate them for there is always a way to hook up these things and the only thing it leads to is more chaos” , this works out brilliantly enough for me.

My relative was speaking to one of my friends and was saying “the most straightforward person in our family “, the wry smile on my friends face told me that I wasn’t the same while with friends, but I made it a point to work on it from that day and to this day when I wake up that is the first thing I think about.

This one is a gem and I still ROFL when I think about it, We were discussing what a condom does and one of my friend asked what happens when u have sex with condom, pat came a reply from another friend “It’s like wearing a raincoat and trying to get wet in rain, nothing really happens” (We were in our 14^Th or 15Th year then)

Then there was a issue with the shares of the money we had spent on a trip and two months down the lane I was still unable to repay the debts, one of my then friends offered me an advice, “You have got to get money from a place where you need not repay it, until that happens you are never going to get out of this “.

I was totally broke due to my adventures in my final year 1^st semester and had nothing but a couple of rupees left in hand, I searched my trunk box and found a small pouch of coins that I had not used and had collected just for the sake of it, the happiness I got that day cannot be probably matched with anything yet in my life, I learnt that saving really helps even if unintentional

“I would die for you, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t live for you – Howard Roark Fountain head” probably the last message my best friend sent me. Well, never try to change what is not yours to change, take a person as he is.

“I don’t love you and if you do not want to believe that what can I do? “, Love is not forever, it changes as does all the things in the world.

“Take this cash and solve your problems , after all you are my son” , when my bad debt had reached the ears of my father , a small unrelated incident which made me understand what a family is all about.

“America invented a pen which could be used to write in space craft which costed lakhs of dollars? Why not use a pencil? “Well looks smart the questions doesn’t it , but when someone else told me that under zero gravity a broken pencil tip could cause a hell of a lot of damage I started thinking …

When Aamir was American for me

This Saturday I was flying to Pune from Bangalore and I had this Hit maker edition of India Today with me and Aamir was smiling at me, somehow I was transported back to my childhood days or say teenage (for I really graduated in to my teens in my 16Th year) .It was in my 8th standard or probably 9th I don’t remember correctly, Rangeela had released and was dubbed in to my native language Telugu , it was hyped to be the best movie of the year and there was some other movie called Kuch to pagal tha , that was what my friends would tell me the name was , which I later found out was Dil to Pagal Hai and some Sharukh Khan was the hero.

I used to live in a stretch of houses which had cement tiles for roof and was like a ghetto ( now really thinking back about those days where some waste paper and rubber band’s would become cricket balls and a wooden stick would be a bat and we would play in the streets bindaas , makes me crave for it ). For the five families which lived there, only one house hosted a television with DoorDarshan as a sole channel, Chitrahaar was our only source to Hindi filmy world.

With this background set , when Rangeela released in that year in Telugu , having seen some censored wall posters on the way to school , we wanted to see the movie . I went to my Dad and pulled up the courage to ask him to take me to the movie , My dad looked at me as if I had spoken a swear word one and said that I shouldn’t watch such movies and he would not take me. I did not have the courage to prolong the discussion, but every now and then during class breaks I would hear my friends whisper in class about how his father was discussing with his guests about the acting prowess of the hero called American in the movie Rangeela, and the pronunciation added to the whispering made me assume that the name of the hero was American. I used to wonder why is an Indian guy named American and then I reason myself with some other filmy knowledge , Konidella Siva Sankara Vara Prasad was Chiranjeevi ,s o this guy should have named himself fancy as his name must have been as long as the megastar’s .

I used answer the same in quizzes which were conducted in school or outside for fun and get away with the answer for my pronunciation was as bad as theirs and the quizmasters would hear Aamir Khan (which they want to hear).No one ever corrected me and I never bothered to check his name up on the posters, Urmila was good enough for me. Years later, I bunked my classes when I was in my 12th (I think so) and went for this movie Mann with one of my friends, and there I happened to see this name flashed on the screen “Aamir Khan “. I started to laugh and my friend was amused, He did not know why, only I knew how stupid I felt that day.

The thought brought me a good laugh and I burst out laughing loud only to see the confused face of my co-passenger.

I Still can't figure out

I burnt my dairy today the 14th of December what did I achieve , yes I got the thought that I am still like those ashes that remained , which blew right and then left with wind , the ashes did not have a direction of its own and I do no either, I am 27 years young but still with no direction , not long ago I thought I had it figured it out ,every thing in my life looked rosy and cosy and planned , but one fateful day changed all that and I still am searching for what I want .The ashes of my dairy , even when they went to oblivion they taught me a thing or two about life , nothing is permanent , so don’t take any thing for granted,
I always thought I am better in some other place, I can be something I want, but I seldom realised that I could have been what I wanted in this place, at this time, saving ones energy for future seems futile to me at this point in time, spend it now says my immediate experience, so that’s what I am looking forward to, I may fail as I have in past but at least it is my failure.
It feels strange, very strange to me that I feel bad very bad to leave this place , I have reaped lot of pain here, where have I not , I cant go back to my birth place , for it is laden with too heavy memories from the death of my fathers elder brother death to his younger ones betrayal , my college place where my indecisiveness still puzzles me , and this place where I have loved and lost , so I dug deep and found the answer , and it was me the answer was me , I had every thing to blame , I lived in the past and dreamt about the future , and I now know that It wont work , through the journey I have earned friends , some as soft as a petal and others as hard as whip , but they have endured me and as I have my life , 27 years is too young for the above shit , but I owe it o the following people and it is my way of letting them know

Sonal
Arun
Siva
Karthik
Pabboo
Pradeep
Naveen
Pete(Pavan)
Mahesh
I have not included my dad in the list , I don’t want be mean him , if there is a soul on the earth that would bear the dirt thrown at it, by it’s own flesh and blood , it could be none other than the man I excluded , I owe it to him and I will live by his rules and his fancies , it’s not a sacrifice but it’s a tribute , if ever there is one I would pay it to ,it would be to him.

Memories behave in a crazy way, they leave you alone when you are in a crowd and when you are alone they stand along like a crowd …. Strange are life’s ways and I am no stranger to them …….

Goa lSetting

I was just trying to figure out what my life was like in office after the recent goal setting,just was not able to figure it out,there weren't enough word's or i wasn't able to get the correct word's.
Then I came home had a couple of soul softner's and started reading my favourite comic strip,i don't know if i can call that any more ,but it ran thus
A: I am guessing a number between 1 and six million can you tell the numbet
B: 11
A: no, any second guess
B: Six mILLION EIGHT
a: NO GUESS AGAIN
B: vanishes
A: Don't you want to play a game....

I don't need to tell you I was B right.....